Words of Sorrow....

may 11th (5th day of exam) : marks the misery for all chemistry lessons in future..we got to know that it was our chemistry teacher's last day in school..oh well..he got promoted and it was an order..what is this? got promoted and forced to go?people said before retiring, one must get promoted..probably..imagine chemistry lessons without him..class rep and prefects safe from being called to answer questions..it's surprising he rarely calls me but some would "kena" every single lesson without fail..lol.just pure luck..anyway..those were the days during chemistry..we won't have that kind of situation anymore..

may 13th : the day before..my sis and i realised that one of our turtles was very weak..almost dying..it couldn't eat anymore and left us the next day..this is the 2nd turtle wich left us..once 5 now down to 3..


may 16th (teachers' day) : this day was when joy turned into sorrow in my house..at about 7.30pm, as we were all getting ready to go out for dinner..as usual, my mum ordered our dog, saffy to go behind the grill as my dad was about the drive the car out so that she can't run out..usually someone will hold the grill to make sure she can't escape but this time..no one was at the grill..even if there's no one there she usually won't run out when she's trapped behind the grill..who would have guessed it would be different this time..i'm not sure what happened but she rushed out the house before my dad managed to close the gate after driving out the car..it's actually something very normal..the moment she ran out..my dad told us , "saffy ran out" ..i told my mum , "not again??always like that one"..my dad quickly went to chase my dog back..not long later, i heard my dog's whining sound..not really whining but crying in pain this time..i thought my dad was punishing her but that was not what happened..we all quickly rushed out to see what happened and my dad said she was run over by a 4 wheeled drive..i've never seen her crying in pain like that before..we were so terrified upon hearing that and seeing her suffering in pain that we cried our hearts out till our neighbours came out to ask why..my dad said she was dying..i can't believe she would die like that..we quickly carried her into the car and looked for the nearest vet..at that time..all the vets were already closed so we went to a pet shop nearby to ask for help..the man managed to contact a vet who was willing to open the clinic just for our dog..we quickly went there.on the way, we kept praying and praying for her as we know only God's miracles could save her...there, we explained to the vet what happened..saffy was wagging her bushy tail at that time..he asked how saffy came home after being ran over by the 4 wheel drive..my dad said that she ran home..the vet asked, "on 4 legs??"..yes..on 4 legs...he said, "wow! she can run home on 4 legs after being ran over??still can afford to wag her tail?"..after checking here and there..the vet couldn't check what was wrong.. no broken bones..nothing came out..according to him, usually when this kinda thing happen, the internal organs would have came out..isn't saffy so strong??in fact she was already standing on four legs at the vet..we told the vet that it must have been God's miracles..he too agreed with us that miracles do happen..the vet gave an injection to saffy as a pain killer and to prevent swelling and gave some medicine...when we went home..she waited for everyone to leave her alone and she walked 1 round around the porch..i guess she was trying to see if she could still walk..what an egoistic dog she is!! beauty is like her number one priority..we gave her her meal and added some of our noodles which we couldn't finish..unfortunately..she had no appetite to eat and ate only a little of the noodles..my mum messaged almost all her friends to pray for saffy's recovery..



may 17th : my mum took care of her the whole day..treating her like a queen..she even called the vet to ask if there's anything we could do and he said she may need to be undergo scanning and be operated if there's a need.we were afraid that it would be too painful for her and what if the operation fails?my mum served her food and water most of the time..at one moment..she felt too great that she didn't wanna accept anything offered to her till my mum and sis scolded her for being so ungrateful...i was afraid she would die of depression after being scolded..later at night..she became very weak..as she was sitting at her favourite spot..she was slowly falling lower and lower but was alerted by the cars and bikes sound outside every now and then..i couldn't stand seeing her like that and tears kept rolling down my cheeks..my mum and sis said she was dying..i said, no..she must be sleepy..my sis said that's not how she looks like when she's sleepy..both said she was dying...she became weaker and weaker and mum said we had to say goodbye to her..afraid that she would feel cold..i gave her one of my towels..for the 1st time..a perfect one without being cut..we thought she was dying so we let her sleep at the side and let her go in peace.i couldn't say bye to her..i couldn't bare seeing her dying but went back to my room to study add maths..thank God the next paper was not those reading subjects like history or i would surely fail..after studying a few chapters..i came down again to see how saffy was..once again she was sitting at her favourite spot..i was shocked..i thought she should be lying down at the side there..


may 18th : early in the morning.. she was still around..i thought we had lost her..seeing her strong will to live, my mum said why not let her try going for the operation?the reason why she survived through the night was surely she didn't wanna part with us..she knew everyone loves her and cried for her..we even decided to share the operation cost..


in the afternoon, my parents fetched me from school..i quickly asked about saffy's condition...i asked if she needed to undergo any operation..she said no..i was surprised to hear that..at 1st we thought she had a kidney failure but that wasn't it..the vet actually came to my house to treat saffy..what a kind vet..he's truly a vet.according to the vet, there was a blood clot somewhere inside the stomach there where it was getting more more bloated..my mum told me that saffy was quite active in the morning compared to thursday and the vet came to give her and injection for nutrition and some other medicine.he even thought my mum how to open saffy's mouth forcefully to feed her medicine..the vet said she most probably won't die..upon hearing that, my heart was filled with joy and i was like.."oh my gosh!! God's miracles are so great!!He is so real!!!if it's not him..we would have lost her on wednesday.."we were once again happy, filled with hope..as for me..i was looking forward to the time when i can bully her again like how i used to (which shows she's healthy again)..that day, she could walk around and even tried to jump on two legs when she saw my neighbour but of course she failed to do so..mum fed her porridge with a syringe as she didn't want to eat..she vomitted a few times that day..


may 19th : saffy looked healthy and active..mum, sis and i went out for breakfast..we came back and did our usual stuffs..mum fed her her medicine and as usual, she refused to eat the medicine and she could afford to keep her mouth shut tightly..she must have been thinking all night how to keep her mouth closed..she vomitted again but we thought it was ok..i was playing sims and sat outside with her at intervals..patting her head..i know she loves it when we pat her head..she drank a lot of water..more than usual..later at about 11am, my mum had to do the laundry and sis and i went to help..before we went upstairs..mum asked saffy to drink water and she did..i told my mum , "she only listens to you..if it were me, she would have just ignored me.." as she was drinking water..she looked back a while at us..after doing the laundry i went to change my bedsheet as my mum went downstairs..suddenly she called both my sis and i to come down to look at saffy..the moment we saw her, we were like "aiya, nothing 1 lar"..she was lying down side ways..mouth wide open..i thought she was just resting..then i realise..she couldn't be lying there when the floor was so wet..her mouth couldn't close and she was having difficulty breathing..mum quickly called the vet and the vet asked if it's possible to drive saffy there as he was busy..my mum told him that saffy was dying and the vet said that we should just let her go in peace then..she died within seconds after we saw her.she wasn't breathing anymore...why so sudden??what happened?? that moment was so terrible..it felt so painful to see her go..she must have been pretending to be strong and healthy so that we would not be worried..she actually waited for us to go upstairs so that she could "go"..she didn't want us to see her go..



our neighbour who usually feeds her when we go outstation helped us with the burial at the place where he buried his dog last time..at least saffy's not alone..i'm not sure where it is..somewhere deep inside the narrow and bumpy road..we buried all her favourite things with her..until now, i still can't believe such thing would happen in my family..i know she'll go one day..but not this way..she used to run away lots of time last year and we thought one day she would be knocked down by a car if she went on like that..but this year, she has been so obedient and she rarely ran out..and you know what really happened on the accident day?she rushed out the house and crossed the main junction outside my house..she must be too excited when she saw a group of dogs there..the moment my dad went out holding a cane..she was frightened and she decided to ran back home and that's when she was ran over..because of her naughtiness, she ran out of the house and because of her obedience, she got ran over..why did she have to be so obedient at that time? she's not even 2 years old yet..still considered as a puppy..


it's all fated..like what my mum said..God's miracles allowed us to have the last 3 days with her about 60 hours..he knew we want more time with her so he gave us time to be with her..everything seemed to be planned..she died at 11.30 in the morning so it was convenient for us to manage her burial..it rained at 5 something in the evening after everything was settled..she was borned on a saturday and she left on a saturday too..she left on the day when i had no school, no exams..my dad went to jusco to buy something in the morning and we never even thought of following..what if we followed?my friend asked me to go for anderson's IU day..i didn't go too..imagine if i wasn't at home.i wouldn't get to see her for the last time..isn't everything so well planned? everything's in God's hands..i'm really grateful for the 60 hours we had and seeing saffy go beautifully..i guess saffy's enjoying life in heaven right now..


Here's a little about her:

Name : Saffy (originated from the stone name, Sapphire)

Cantonese name : Sik Fan (means eat rice..rhymes with "saffy" right?lol..she answers whenever we say that word out loud )

Date of birth : 6th August 2005

Colour : brown head with a half black half brown body (resembles the colours of a german shepherd)

Breed : unknown mixed breed

Likes : first one would definitely be EATING!!(rice, biscuits, luncheon meat, and anything mum cooks), playing with tennis ball, whatever cloth (towels, rugs and even rags), biting my dad's scaper's wooden handle, standing on two legs at the gate, sleeping, barking at cats, meeting her "loved" ones outside, wagging her tail, playing with water, tug a war, playing with shoes, my neighbour

Dislikes : bathing, being slapped on the face (so beauty conscious), being blowed at the face (beauty again), seeing us walking to neighbours' house or to the night market ( she's definitely jealous cause she can't ), dark skinned people especially indians ( not realising that she looks like one too, lol), afraid of newspapers

saffy was given to us by my friend, suk wai on september 27th, 2005..somewhere close to my PMR..my sis was the one who insisted in taking her though my parents didn't totally agree with her but since all of us are dog lovers..so we took her home or she would be given to the pet shop..from then, we had something to look forward to outside the house..she wasn't allowed to come in at all..she tried to sneak into the house lots of times and usually hid behind the door..i find it funny whenever i think about that as she's no longer able to squeeze herself through the bars now..every meal time, she whines and makes lots of noise when we're eating, reminding us to feed her first.. she runs to the food as if she's in a horse racing when her meal is served

she wags her tail whenever we come home..whenever we go out, she tries to sneak out as well so we had to open the gate with a real small gap..i could remember once, my sis and i bathed her.the next morning, it's was raining heavily till many places were flooded..as we were going to school, she rushed out of the house..we didn't chase her back..when we came home, we saw her inside the house..she looked different..she looked as if she was sun tanned..so muddy, dark and dirty..she dirtied the compund terribly..i wonder who in the world let her in..my sis and i were so angry and i was almost cursing the person who let her in..must be my next door neighbour..i really hated her and the person who opened the gate at that moment cause we had to do double work..bathe her and wash the porch again..she used to bite our slippers too..can't even count how many pairs of slippers my dad's especially were sacrificed but she's now matured and no longer bites our slippers..she's truly a very silly dog which allows me to bully her all the time even when she's eating..people say that we must never disturb dogs when they're eating as they may bite..saffy never bites me though i disturb her most of the time when she's eating..where else can you find such silly dog?? well, those were the days we had for a year plus


for now, everytime i leave home..i look at the porch..it looks so empty and wide..something's missing..she's not so big but without her in the compound..it feels so empty..no more 4 legged creature welcoming us home..no one to say bye to before i leave home..no one to bully..no one chasing after me around the compund..she's also our "automatic doorbell"..we do not have a doorbell but when someone's here, we would definitely know..no one to eat our extra food..with her around, there won't be any wastage of food..no need to be afraid of theft or robbery..need not be afraid of being home alone even when my parents go outstation..at times, i tend to forget that she's no longer here..once, i suddenly walked to the grill and looked out.then i asked myself, why did i come here for?there's nothing to see outside..everything's different..life at home is so different now..her absence made a huge difference in life..dogs are truly man's best friend..

here are some pictures of her..from puppy till the day she left us..


"hmm..nice towel..love it"


"hey, don't look at me like that!! " (looking guilty)


saffy's favourite spot to sleep on..


feeling cold..


"why wouldn't you all let me in??"(she looks cutest with this pose)



at least she could put her head in..how desperate she was..


gosh..the most embarassing picture..that's how she sleeps..


saffy's expertise in grabbing the cloth with her mouth(she crumples it together and grabs it)..for your info, that's actually our rug..she stole it..look at the motion of the tail..miss seeing her in this pose so much..




"i sensed some food...hmmm.."



"there, give it to me" how often do you see dogs using their paws like hands?



her pink tongue sticking out..craving for food


and again her favourite pose, resting her head inside..


beauty conscious saffy grooming herself (i used to tell her, "duneed to groom yourself lar, it won't make a difference, still not pretty.." well..just to tease her)



that's her favourite sitting place and also where we trap her whenever the car goes out or when guests come..


this is what you call "mabuk kereta".this picture was captured in the car when my sis was fetching me home from school..it was raining heavily when my sis came out alone and she was afraid that saffy may run out so she brought her into the car..gave me a shock when i saw her in the car..guess this was her second time sitting in a car after the time when she was brought home when she was still a puppy..that is why she "mabuk kereta"..i remember she vomitted a few times..seriously, she looked really funny..


well, this is 1 day after the accident, 17th may..she sat there most of the time that day..trying to bear the pain


this the last thing i ever gave her..the night when she was actually dying..doesn't she look pretty with it?



even at the very last moment, she still wanted to rest her head there at her favourite place..(if you notice, this is the 3rd picture here with this same pose, same place )


early in the morning on the 18th..


that's where she sunbathes..



look at her silky black body..



feeling shy huh??



on friday night..hugging the towel, posing like model..


the day she left us, may 19th..i guess this was her last picture that we could capture...


exams are over, holiday is here..so what?i'm not really happy..things ain't the same anymore..