spilling my thoughts and feelings..

it's june now..gosh..how time really really flies...i know i've said that lots of times but it's true..i can't stop saying it..i can't believe i actually left school for 6 months without working or anything..yes, i've been on holiday..thus, the common question we all school leavers ask each other whenever we meet our friends outside is :-

- hey, so what you doing now?
and my answer would always be, nothing..just hanging around..

- aren't you bored at home? aren't you rotting?
and i'll say, no, i like it..hardly any moment of boredom and to me, time still flies though i SEEM to be doing nothing every day. and i see no sign of fungus on me..lol..anyway, i would love to rot too if i can..

- why don't work?
well, lazy..anyway, college starting in july..so why not rest to the max before all the studying stress come in..

- and some say, wah...so late only start?
yeah, why hurry when i've time..i'm not in a hurry to start working or something..afterall my course will only take 3 years to complete if i don't get stuck anywhere..

and some will say, wow, i'm so jealous of you..so relax don't need to do anything..

6 months have passed since spm..what have i been doing? i went for several trips and outings with friends and family which i enjoyed most..at home, i watch tv, eat, sleep and online..despite all that, i do have other responsibilities to carry which not everyone has and it's not like i have to report to all my friends what i do whenever i see them..so i just wanna say, i'm NOT ABSOLUTELY doing nothing..

i get so tired almost every day..my energy level is low cause i'm lazy..i admit that..but i really can't take it ALONE..doing something hardly appreciated by others and not just that..it's worse when people undo all your efforts..it's heart - breaking and aching..

i feel so stressed and frustrated over little things at times..over things i don't have to worry about..i really can't help it..i just don't understand..and yet, i have no right to complain..i have no right to order people around but to take it up all alone..not many would understand how i feel and what i go through..it's not as easy as you think..some things are not like what you see from the outside..and..

I'M SO TIRED OF EVERYTHING.....!!!

i'm going to kl tomorrow night and then to genting highlands on thursday morning with my church friends and believe it or not, it's my first time going to genting highlands!..i'm so excited and i can't wait to go..really..so i can leave all my burdens behind, relax and just have fun..that's why i enjoy trips and outings A LOT..but the sad thing is, i have some tasks to complete before i leave which i don't think i can but i hope i can..will be back on friday night probably..

i'm just trying to express my thoughts and feelings..no offence to everyone =) so i guess that's all for now..

p/s. - my right arm's aching badly..played badminton yesterday and guess what?i swung the racket off my hand twice (once over the net) ..lol!! it was heavy and the grip was slippery due to sweat so that's why..anyway, i'm lack of exercise..haha..
- words just can't express how MUCH i seriously miss school life... =(

till then!